Update

Today I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable. I have been emailing with John, but it's mostly just superficial. Yesterday I sent him an email that said I was sorry for being mean to him in the past, which is stupid, because I've already apologized for that before. Anyway, he didn't say anything, and emotionally I'm struggling with it. It's like I feel panicky. I've been working on my software and listening to sermons today trying to stay calm. I know logically it's better if I don't hear from John, but it's like I feel sad at the same time. On a better note, I was hired as a reporter and will start freelancing soon. She was very nice, and I need to stay focused on learning more of my software and really taking advantage of having a better software. I always feel so overwhelmed when there is a lot to learn. I know, take one step at a time. Take a breath and trust that God is watching over me, and I'll get over this thing with John. He has been good about keeping his distance, and I should be thankful that this is the case. He's not good for me. Okay, tomorrow is bible study. Cast my cares upon Jesus, and he will provide all of my needs.